


Servants of Spice

by raths_kitten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23311627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raths_kitten/pseuds/raths_kitten
Summary: When Castiel gets chosen as Protector of Spice, a role that will drastically change him, Dean signs up as Servant to still be close to him - and with the hope to trigger Castiel’s memories once he emerges from his cocoon. But there may be a larger conspiracy ahead for them.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62
Collections: Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2020





	Servants of Spice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Dean/Cas Reverse Bang](https://deancasreversebang.fandom.com/wiki/Dean/Cas_Reverse_Bang_Wiki) and based on a piece of art by [Aceriee](https://missaceriee.tumblr.com/). Check out her gorgeous art masterpost [HERE.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243488) All the stunning artwork featured in my story was created by her. 
> 
> This is loosely also inspired by Dune (by Frank Herbert). Thanks to my friend Gaby for beta-reading.

_Then_

Dean and Castiel had climbed on top of the rocky terrain in the desert and gotten on their bellies, robbing across the ground to secretly peer down to see the entrance of the cave. Two Shangree-Lua entered with provisions for the Ankh-El, no doubt. If anyone caught them snooping, they would be in a world of trouble. They weren’t even supposed to know where the holy cave was located, even if the people from their small village were in the know and most of the servants were chosen among the citizens.

“I want to be chosen as Ankh-El,” Castiel mused, eyes rapt.

Dean looked at his friend, feeling incredibly sad at the thought of that happening, even if he couldn’t fully explain why. But the way his mother had always talked about them, it hadn’t seemed desirable. “Why?” Dean whispered back.

Castiel gaped at him. “Wings, Dean!” He gestured with his hands and Dean had to grab him to remind him to stay still and not give their location away. “And they’re the protectors of Spice. It’s the most important job.”

Dean sighed. “But you’ll forget all about your life. You’ll be a different person. You’ll forget…” Dean looked away. “Me.” His voice was barely audible.

Castiel interlaced their fingers. “I’ll never forget you, Dean.” He gave him a shy smile. “And besides, I’m not going to get chosen. Why would I be so lucky?”

Dean returned the smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Castiel came from a long line of vessels. It was highly likely he’d be chosen. But Dean didn’t want to lose him. Cas was his best friend. And only recently, their friendship had grown into something more intimate. Neither of them had put a word to it yet, but Dean knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Castiel.

Looking down again, he saw the Shangree-Lua leave. And he made a vow that if Castiel were to be chosen, he’d devote his life to the cause and enter the servitude of Spice and its protectors. It would make sure he’d be able to stay with Castiel, even if he probably didn’t remember Dean anymore.

They turned around to lie on their backs and looked up at the sky for a while, their hands still clasped together. Suddenly, an Ankh-El was flying past them and heading for the cave. Dean ducked deeper into the grass, but Cas exclaimed a loud sound of joy.

They turned back on their bellies and just before the Ankh-El entered the cave, he looked up to where they were hiding. Dean was sure they’d been spotted. He couldn’t understand why the Ankh-El hadn’t stopped to bring them in. Deciding it was best not to strain their luck, Dean and Cas made their way back to their village. 

The whole way home, Castiel was beaming and rambling on excitedly. “Did you see, Dean? Did you see the wings? I want to fly like that. It must be so awesome. I’ll take you flying with me, of course. We could see the whole world like that!”

Dean didn't have the heart to put a dampener on his friend’s joy, but he couldn’t share it at all. The Ankh-El were cold and heartless. The process not only changed their bodies, it also completely changed their minds. They were soldiers on a mission. Much as travelling the world with Cas sounded awesome, Dean knew it would never happen. At least not if one of them grew wings.

Nine months later, Castiel was chosen and taken from their village to begin the process. A week later, much to his mother’s grief, Dean joined the Shangree-Lua and began his training far away from home, hellbent on making his return home in time for Castiel’s emergence.

_Now_

Dean readjusted his veil after dropping off a Spice supply that would feed the Ankh-El in their cocoons. He’d proven himself worthy and served well so that now he could be here, caring for the protectors after they emerged from their cocoons. 

He had been right. They _were_ cold, heartless dicks. But when they hatched, they were helpless and disoriented and still malleable. At least that’s what Dean hoped for.

Of course he kept his thoughts to himself and worshipped the Ankh-El like it was expected of him. His training had been rigorous. Only his thoughts about Cas had kept him sane and strong enough not to lose his mind. The Shangree-Lua left behind their old life just the same as the Ankh-El did, so nobody cared that he’d grown up around here. Most of the other servants did as well, yet nobody went back to visit their families. They were servants of Spice and servants had no family. There was only Spice.

It killed Dean a little bit that he couldn’t visit his mother or find out what had become of his little brother, but he couldn’t risk it. Not before he’d reconnected with Cas anyway. If anyone found out he even remembered them, he’d disappear. Dean had seen it happen. Early on in his training, a guy had snapped during their morning prayers and warned them all not to drink the blue water, it would make them forget and turn them into puppets.

In the beginning, Dean didn’t give it too much thought. But then he wasn’t sure anymore who’d taught him how to ride a worm. Next he caught himself forgetting the sound of his mother’s voice. When he started to forget large chunks of the adventures he’d been on with Cas, he took a chance and stopped drinking the ceremonial water. After a few weeks of subtle abstinence, his memories came back. Not only that, but his mind sharpened again and he started questioning parts of his training that he hadn’t even realized he’d blindly followed before.

Of course he kept it all to himself and still followed the orders as was expected of him. He needed to hold out for Castiel. Once they were reunited, all bets were off. But he had to be an obedient servant first.

Lost in thought, he passed the cocoon in which Castiel was hibernating and after making sure he was alone, he pressed his hand to it, hoping his friend could feel his presence. It wouldn’t be long now before he emerged and Dean was conflicted about it. He hoped for the best, but all of his experiences with the protectors had left him slim hope that his Cas would still be in there.

A few weeks later, it was time. The ceremony had started with a blessing to the Ankh-El. Then a bowl of water heavily laced with Spice was passed around for each of the Shangree-Lua to partake in. Dean only pretended to drink, wanting to keep a clear head. He was good at faking the ecstasy that came over them and joined in the ritualistic dances. When they were done, they all knelt down in front of the cocoons and waited. There would be three new protectors that day. Castiel would be one of them.

The first cocoon cracked and the Ankh-El clawed his way out of it. Soon enough the other two cracked as well. The newly fledged Ankh-El were still covered in green goo, disoriented and fell down to the floor as soon as they were out. The first Shangree-Lua came forward, trying to care for them. Dean also moved closer, but he didn’t want to seem too eager to get at Castiel.

Castiel had been the last to hatch and he pushed the first two Shangree-Lua away with a snarl. His whole demeanor was feral. It could happen. They were trained for this. Dean motioned for his fellow servants to stay back while he slowly approached him, head bowed and arms spread out in a dismissive gesture. When he got closer and Castiel didn’t attack him, he knelt down close to Castiel, who was crouched against his cocoon, seemingly ready to spring and attack.

“Let me help you, Ankh-El,” Dean pleaded. “I mean you no harm.” He searched out Castiel’s eyes, hoping to find some recognition in them. There was none that he could tell, Castiel’s eyes now shining in a bright blue glow, but he calmed down nonetheless. One of the others threw Dean a towel and he held it out for Castiel, waiting until he reached for it and wrapped it around his waist. Apparently he still knew modesty, having emerged stark naked from the cocoon.

Dean nodded with a friendly smile. “Castiel,” he whispered. “Please.” It was against protocol to address them by their given names, but Dean didn’t care. Something flickered in Castiel’s eyes and he accepted the hand Dean was reaching out to him.

They got up together and Dean fetched him another towel, about to lead him to the bathing chamber. Another servant tried to join them, but Castiel immediately flinched back and growled from deep within his chest. So they let Dean lead him, following close behind.

Once in the bath, Dean closed the curtain on them and started washing Castiel on his own. It wasn’t uncommon. There was only one servant needed for this duty anyway. When the water was running and Dean could be sure they had as much privacy as they could, he carefully dared to whisper.

“Cas. It’s me, Dean. Do you remember me?” The Ankh-El watched him with his piercing eyes, but didn’t blink. Once again, Dean marvelled at the way the Spice had turned them into an even clearer, glowing blue. But they weren’t cold. Not to him. Castiel looked stunning. Washing off the goo, Dean revealed smooth, muscled skin. Nobody knew exactly what the Spice did to their physiology, but Castiel was definitely able to fight now.

“Your name is Castiel. We grew up together,” Dean continued. He reached for his cheek and Castiel flinched away at first. When Dean didn’t move further, Castiel himself reached for his hand and placed it on his cheek. Smiling softly, Dean caressed him. “I missed you so much.”

Castiel still didn’t speak, but he watched Dean’s every move and he seemed to understand what Dean was saying. He took the hose and sprayed down Castiel’s wings. Castiel turned around in surprise, as if this was the first time he realized he had them and together they freed them off the goo.

Castiel’s wings were majestic and as black as his hair, which was still as unruly as ever. Dean chuckled fondly when he washed it as well. “We don’t have a lot of time left now, Cas. I just want you to know, if they find out we know each other, they will take me away. Because it is forbidden. So please, don’t say anything. Even if you don’t remember me right now, or if you…” Dean took a deep breath. “If you never will. Please just let me stay and serve you.”

Dean was done with the cleaning and reached for fresh towels to help dry him off. Castiel grabbed his wrist and stilled his movements. His nostrils flaring, he opened and closed his lips a few times, until finally, he rasped out a deep “Dean.”

Dean’s heart hammered in his chest. Did Cas remember him after all? His voice sounded different. Deeper. But it might just be from disuse.

“Thank. You.” Castiel continued slowly. He nodded his head, but then let go of Dean and continued to dry himself off on his own. Another servant entered to bring him his tunic and to usher him out for the next ceremony. Dean was left in the bathing chamber, expected to make himself presentable again.

As Castiel was led away, the Ankh-El turned around once more, looking at Dean with a squint on his face, before he followed the other Shangree-Lua. Dean really didn’t know what it meant. Did Castiel remember him as well? Or would he report him as soon as he had found his words again? Dean felt queasy when he dried himself off and went to join the rest of the festivities. He wouldn’t get a chance to be alone with Castiel anytime soon.

The next day, they came to collect Castiel and the other two newly emerged Ankh-El for their training. They’d be gone for a few weeks and then return as fully lethal protectors. They still seemed disoriented, Castiel even more so than the others. Their eyes met in the opening of the cave and Castiel squinted again. Dean nodded and smiled, hoping Castiel could even see him under the veil he was wearing.

Two high ranking Ankh-El arrived by worm, taking in the fledglings. They wouldn’t be able to fly yet and the training facility was somewhere deep in the desert. Dean hadn’t been able to find out just where it was. It was forbidden to Shangree-Lua.

But just as they were being led onto the worm, shots were fired at them from beyond the cave. Dean ducked, trying to figure out where the attackers came from when a shuttle landed in front of the cave and more attackers arrived, trying to capture the fledglings. Dean was the first to realize their plan, because his eyes had been trained on Castiel.

He pushed forward, not caring for his own life in that moment and tackled one of the intruders, taking his gun and shooting his way over to where Castiel was. The two grown Ankh-El fought valiantly, but when one of them went down, Dean’s brain short-circuited. One of the fledglings had already been brought into the shuttle with only Castiel remaining on the worm, confused, stance ready to fight, but not joining in. Good. He had no armour and no weapons. He’d easily fall victim to the crossfire.

Dean used another intruder as a shield while he made his way to the worm, jumping on its back and grabbing the reins, thankful he’d learned how to ride before he joined the Shangree-Lua. One of the perks of growing up around here and retaining his memories. 

He took a hold of Castiel with his free arm, shouting at him to “Hold on” before he pulled on the reins and stepped onto the nail they had driven deep into the worm’s flesh and were using to control it. He hated to cause it harm, knowing they’d also let you ride it if you treated them well, but now was not the time.

Gunshots and shouting followed them, but Dean didn’t look back. He held onto Castiel and rode into safety, pleased when the shuttle didn’t follow them.

He took them deep into the desert before stopping. Dean knelt down next to the worm, patting him with both hands. “Ok, buddy. I know you understand me. I’ll make you a deal. You get us somewhere safe and I’ll take out that damn nail. Ok?”

The worm screeched and bucked, but Dean held on tight, actively avoiding to step on the nail as punishment. The trust had to start somewhere. The worm hesitated and changed course. Dean mumbled a quick prayer and was relieved when suddenly another cave was visible in the distance. Dean had never been here before, but he trusted that the worm knew where it would take them.

Once there, the worm sighed and flattened itself to let them dismount. Before leaving though, Dean took a hold of the nail, trying valiantly to push it out. The worm screeched again, but didn’t buck. Yet Dean wasn’t strong enough to pull it out by himself. His shoulders slumped, feeling bad for misleading the worm, when suddenly Castiel joined in and together they got rid of the nail.

The worm immediately started bleeding, but Castiel knelt down and placed his hand against the wound. A warm blue glow shone from his hand and the wound was healing itself. When it was done, Castiel wrapped both arms around the worm, pressing his face against its head and closing his eyes. It felt as if they were communicating. After a few minutes, Castiel got back up, took a hold of Dean’s hand and they jumped down from the worm.

The worm bucked up to its full height, causing Dean to be briefly afraid to get crushed, before it slumped back down in the other direction, screeching once more before burrowing deep under the sand and vanishing out of sight.

Dean was left staring, mouth agape. He didn’t know Ankh-El could heal. Or was it just Castiel? And he communicated with the worm telepathically? He’d heard rumors of Ankh-El communicating with each other that way, but the worms? 

Suddenly, they could hear a shuttle sound. It wasn’t close, but it still spurred them into action and they quickly entered the cave. Dean drew his weapon and tried to push Castiel behind himself, but Castiel seemed offended, glared at him, and took up the front.

Dean rolled his eyes but followed the Ankh-El deeper into the cave. It seemed to be empty. They found no sign of people having entered before them, but about halfway into the cave, there was a small, crystal clear lake that seemed to be fed from further down the cave. 

“The worm did us a great service.” Dean mumbled, sitting down on a rock. As soon as he sat, the adrenaline was slowly leaving his body and the pain set it.

“She was very grateful we set her free,” Castiel rasped out.

Dean perked up. “She?” He winced when he tried to roll his shoulder. Glancing over, he saw blood oozing out of a wound he hadn’t realized was there. But now that his brain fully registered it, his pain level kicked up a notch and he groaned.

Immediately, Castiel’s hands were on him, carefully pulling away the silk of his robes. When the wound was free, Castiel placed his hands on either side of it and Dean could feel a warm tingle spread from his shoulder through his whole body. And suddenly there were flashes from their childhood. Dean and Cas running across the desert laughing, sitting across from each other at the dinner table, Dean’s mom cooking, little Sammy attached to her leg. The flashes came too fast for Dean to follow until their first kiss and then everything slowed down again.

Castiel pulled back, looking at him in shock. “What was that?”

Dean passed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

“You did this.” Castiel took a few steps back. “You’re bewitching me.”

“I’m what?” Dean took down his veil. “Castiel. I don’t know what you did, but I think when you healed me, we connected? But it was your powers who did it, not mine.” He looked at his now unmarred shoulder. “I have no powers.”

“You’re Shangree-Lua.” Castiel said in an accusatory tone.

“Yes?” Dean frowned.

“I have been warned not to get too close to you.” Castiel stated.

Dean blinked. “But… we’re the servants. I care for you,” he tried.

“Witch,” Castiel muttered, pointing his finger at him.

Dean held up his hands to show he meant no harm and slowly slid down from his stone to sit on the ground. He bowed his head. “I mean you no harm.” He considered getting on his knees and bending his whole body but his pride kept him from prostrating himself further.

Castiel grunted, but sat down on the ground across from him, legs crossed. “I do not understand the images I saw. It was me, but it wasn’t. I was only born yesterday.”

“I told you. We knew each other.” Dean smiled sadly. “In your past life.” And Cas had forgotten him. Or maybe Castiel had forgotten Cas.

Castiel squinted, but didn’t comment any further. “You need rest,” he said and it sounded like a command.

“I’m not tired,” Dean replied, moving to get up. But before he could, Castiel placed two fingers against his forehead and Dean’s world went black.

Dean’s reality slowly shifted back into focus and he tried blinking awake. There was something heavy sitting on his legs. He kicked out, but it wouldn’t budge. His eyelids were heavy and opening his eyes was really hard. Instead he reached down and felt something… soft?

A shape came into focus, but Dean’s brain couldn’t process it. Large black eyes? Feelers? What? He rubbed at his eyes to see more clearly and then wished he hadn’t. He let out a loud scream and scrambled back, startling the gigantic moth on his legs so much that it flew up in the air and away from him.

He pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around himself with a shudder, blinking again to hopefully wake up from this nightmare. But when he looked around, he spotted two more giant moths and Castiel seemed to be talking to one of them? Yeah, this was definitely a nightmare. What the hell had Castiel done to him?

Looking around, he spotted the gun not too far away from him and dream or not, Dean reached for it and aimed it at one of the moths.

“No,” A deep voice boomed over to him. Castiel had repositioned himself in front of the moth. “Put down the gun, Dean.”

Before he could process it, Dean instinctively followed the order. “Is this a dream?” He couldn’t help asking.

Castiel frowned at him. “Dream? I don’t… know? What is a dream?”

Dean frowned right back at him, but then he realized that Castiel was Ankh-El now. And he’d never seen one of them asleep. He felt incredibly sad for his friend in that moment and not for the first time, he wished he could travel back in time and run away with him before either of them entered into the servitude of Spice.

Castiel turned his head towards one of the moths and seemed to listen intently. “Oh. I see,” he remarked, before turning back to Dean. “You are awake.”

“Did you just talk to a gigantic moth?” Dean asked.

“Yes.” Castiel cocked his head.

“Are you sure this isn’t a dream?” Dean sighed and rolled his shoulders. His question was hypothetical at this point.

“I just told you you are awake. Why do you make me repeat myself?” Castiel replied.

“Nevermind.” Dean rolled his eyes and got up. “I see you made new friends. Cousins of yours?”

“Dean, they are moths. How would we be related?” Castiel came up to him and reached out, trying to touch his head. Dean flinched back, not wanting to get knocked out again. But Castiel was stronger, gripping his hand to get access and touched his forehead. Except this time, nothing else happened. “Your brain bears no injuries, so I don’t understand.”

Dean closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten. He only got to three when he admitted to himself that the being in front of him was not his friend anymore. It was a recently hatched Ankh-El. And he hadn’t been in this world for more than a day. “Explain the moths,” Dean tried. “Please.”

“They’re native to this cave.” Castiel started, leaning his head in the direction of one of them again. “They only hunt at night and never come anywhere close to the villages. They wish to remain undetected.”

“What do they hunt?” Dean threw in, but then he held up a hand. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.” He would definitely have nightmares, he didn’t need to add specifics. “How come you can communicate with them?”

“They feed on raw Spice. Same as I did,” Castiel explained.

“Raw Spice?” Dean connected the dots in his head. “This is a Spice cave? Holy fuck.” He’d thought the Shangree-Lua had dominion over Spice and there wouldn’t be any found in the wild. Though Dean always suspected that maybe the worms fed on it as well. There were so many things he still didn’t know about this world. Dean wondered if the Council even knew of this.

“He says until recently, it was undiscovered by the creatures on two legs. But now they’re coming and stealing the Spice.” Castiel continued. “His whole clan stayed hidden until now, but they want to fight.”

Fight? Fight whom? Dean didn’t need to be caught in a war over Spice. “The, uh, the creatures?” Dean asked, addressing the moth. “Did they look like me?” He pointed towards his veil. “Shangree-Lua?”

The moth flapped its wings but didn’t make a sound. Before Dean could feel foolish, Castiel translated. “No. All different clothes. They came from the sky.”

“Smugglers,” Dean concluded. This was bad. The whole reason why Ankh-El existed was to prevent others from stealing Spice and selling it on the black market. If the smugglers had found their own supply, in a location that wasn’t known to the Shangree-Lua, there was no way for them to stop it. “How often do they come by?”

Castiel looked at the second moth this time. “Every… quarter moon?” He tried, frowning again. “I don’t really know what…” He paused, now looking at the first moth again. “And you only tell me this now?”

“What?” Dean asked. Castiel had gone rigid. That did not bode well. “What is it?”

“They’re expected to come today.” Castiel growled just as the moths flapped their wings and flew back deep into the caves.

While Dean and Castiel prepared for an attack with the very limited resources at their disposal, Dean couldn’t help but wonder how capable a fledgling Ankh-El was. They were always brought to the training facility the very next day and Dean had assumed they’d learn all their skills there, but Castiel seemed capable.

“I learned in the cocoon,” Castiel explained when Dean finally asked. “We were all connected and it was a mix of voices and images.” He stopped. “I don’t know how to fully explain to a Shangree-Lua. While you’re a servant, you will never fully experience Spice.”

Castiel seemed regretful about that. Dean wasn’t so sure if he really wanted the whole mindwash that came with it. No. He was sure. He refused to partake in the ceremonies for a reason. Thankfully the Shangree-Lua never connected to each other on a level quite like this, or he’d have been found out. “But you don’t remember anything about your past life?”

“I had no past life.” Castiel replied harshly and Dean had to avert his eyes. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. He should’ve been prepared for the pain. However, Castiel came over to him and touched his shoulder. “I… I do trust you though, Dean. I can’t explain why.”

Dean turned and looked into Castiel’s glowing blue eyes. He seemed sincerely confused and even a little vulnerable right now. And it must mean something, that he admitted this to Dean. Right? Maybe there was hope after all. He reached out to touch Cas’s cheek. “I’m glad.” The Ankh-El stayed still for a few seconds, then he turned away, posture visibly hardening again and returning to the soldier he was.

And not a moment too soon, because they could hear the shuttle approach and land just outside of the cave. They each took their chosen positions hidden behind boulders and waited for the crew to enter.

The smugglers were well trained, because they immediately made their way deep into the cave, carrying a container and mining equipment. Nobody had a gun in their hand, which was what Dean and Castiel were counting on. They didn’t expect to be attacked in this remote cave.

Dean waited until Castiel was ready and as soon as Castiel pounced, knocking out the first smuggler and stealing his gun, Dean also jumped out and shot one of the others. Their advantage over, the remaining smugglers now had time to drop the equipment and return fire.

Diving back behind the boulder, Dean’s heart raced. From his vantage point he could see that Castiel had not taken cover again and was instead using one of the smugglers as shield to get to another. Taking a deep breath, Dean emerged once again, taking aim.

“Hold your fire!” Someone shouted, entering the cave in a hurry. The large man had his arms outstretched, his gun held off to the side. 

For a moment, everything stopped. But once the initial confusion was over, Dean decided to not fall for a ruse and took aim again. He shot the one who was about to attack Cas in the shoulder and aimed at the next person. The smugglers had started moving again as well.

“I said stop it,” The last smuggler to enter shouted again. “Put down your gun, Dean.” The man reached for his shawl and revealed his face and Dean gasped.

“Sammy?” The man in front of him was a lot older and way more built than Dean remembered his little brother, but then again, it had been many years. “Cas, stop.” He ordered, but the Ankh-El had already stopped fighting for now, same as the others in the cave.

Sam smiled a little and his muscles twitched as if he really wanted to move. Probably come over and hug Dean, because Dean definitely wanted to go over and hug his brother, smuggler or not. But instead he placed his gun to the ground. “I can’t believe I was right earlier and it’s really you. Here. In my cave,” Sam started.

Dean frowned. He was about to put down his gun as well, but now he drew it again. Earlier? “You abducted the fledglings?”

“It’s not what you think. Let me explain.” Sam pleaded, holding out his arms once more.

Dean looked over to Castiel, who was looking right back at him, apparently waiting for his cue. So much for the highly trained Ankh-El. Then again, Dean had no doubt Castiel was still able to kill everyone in this cave if he felt like it. He sighed and finally put down his gun, taking a step away from it.

The rest of the smugglers followed suit. Eventually Castiel lowered his newly stolen gun as well. He took a few strategic steps towards Sam though, probably realizing he was the leader. Dean didn’t like where this was going so he placed himself in their path.

“Circumstances aside, it’s good to see you, Sammy.” Dean finally greeted his brother.

Sam’s smile widened a bit. “Likewise.” He hesitated. “Are you… you?”

Dean knew what he was asking and he nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Had to stay clear headed. I’m on a mission.” He nodded towards Cas.

“I didn’t know you joined the resistance,” Sam frowned. “Nobody told me.”

“The what?” Dean frowned as well. There was a _resistance_? But what for?

“Oh.” Sam’s eyes widened. “Nothing.” He looked over to Castiel and did a double take. “Oh shit. I see.”

“You know why I joined the Shangree-Lua. I said goodbye.” Dean felt defensive.

“Dean. I was eleven.” Sam shrugged. “After mom died, my life was quite eventful.”

“Mom… died?” Dean’s heart stopped. He didn’t know. “When?”

“Oh, that’s right.” Sam now sounded accusatory. “No connection to their first life for the sacred Shangree-Lua.”

Dean bit the inside of his cheek. If he’d known... He wasn’t sure what he had done. Abandon Cas to leave and take care of his brother? Who would be more important to him? He hoped he’d never have to make that choice. Yes, he’d left Sam for Castiel once. But he’d left him with their mother, thinking he’d have a good life ahead of him.

But somehow Sam had become the enemy. A Spice smuggler. The worst kind of scum. Dean remembered what they were about to do. “I’m not letting you steal Spice to sell it on other planets,” Dean stated, pouring more fuel onto the explosive situation they had found themselves in.

“That’s not what we’re doing,” Sam replied, face grim.

“Explain,” Dean ordered, raising an eyebrow.

Some time later, Dean’s head was still reeling. Him and Castiel were sitting in Sam’s shuttle, transporting the raw Spice. About halfway through Sam’s explanation, his crew had gone to do their job, Castiel presumably having mentally called off the moths. Or maybe they would not have joined the fight today after all. When it was just the three of them, Sam and Dean sat down for the rest of the story with Castiel hovering close to Dean, still ready to attack at any moment.

But even he had willingly stepped foot on the shuttle. Because he was following Dean. Dean just hoped he wouldn’t lead him into a trap. Looking over at the Ankh-El, Dean really wished he had his old Cas back to help him make sense of all of this.

The way Sam explained it, the Council were the ones selling Spice on other planets, where it was misused for mind control, Shangree-Lua and Ankh-El unwitting participants in it all. And mind controlled themselves. According to Sam, they diluted the Spice with another substance before feeding it to them to make them more susceptible. Raw Spice was just an agent but not the real culprit. 

The Spice they fed the Shangree-Lua was already altered. Dean could believe that part, since his own mind had cleared up after he’d stopped partaking early on in his service. He had never suspected it to be malicious though. Just a way to make them more dedicated servants. Sometimes Dean wondered if he would have forgotten Cas just as he’d forgotten him if Dean wouldn’t have been so cautious. It was a scary thought.

The training camp the Ankh-El were brought to just after their emergence was apparently also mostly a brain washing bootcamp. As if it wouldn’t be enough that they lost their memories of their previous lives, no, they also had to be turned into willing soldiers, cut off from the hive mind of the Spice and following the Council only.

Dean had a harder time believing that, but after seeing Castiel not only communicate with the worm but also the moths, something he’d never heard of before, he was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. As Sam explained, this was also the reason why they now had abducted newly hatched Ankh-El before they could enter the facility. Though on this part, Dean still wasn’t sure if Sam’s people wouldn’t manipulate the fledglings themselves, to have their own soldiers fighting for them.

Sam was convinced this wasn’t the case, but Sam was also just a soldier in this war, same as Dean was. If he learned anything today, it was that neither of them could know for sure just what their superiors were up to.

Shortly before they arrived at Sam’s base camp, Sam looked at his brother and suggested he change into neutral clothing. But while Dean had not ingested Spice, he was still very much a servant and it would just feel extremely wrong to take off his silks and especially the veil. That wasn’t what he told Sam though. No, he’d claimed that it would help him see who the good guys were if he judged them by the way they treated a Shangree-Lua. To a degree, that was the truth.

So when they entered, Dean held his head high and ignored all the looks he got. It helped that Castiel was walking right next him, being regarded with an equal amount of fear and distrust by Sam’s smuggler friends. Dean would call them ‘the resistance’ when he saw some proof.

“My brethren are here,” Castiel rasped, leaning close to Dean. “I can feel them.”

“Are they doing ok?” Dean asked back.

“They are confused.” Castiel cocked his head and squinted. “They’re being experimented on.”

Dean threw an angry look back at his brother, who was still leading them down some corridors. “Don’t worry, Cas. I won’t let them hurt you.”

Castiel gave him an almost amused look. “I am not worried.”

‘Good for you,’ Dean thought, but didn’t speak out loud. Maybe they should both be more worried. They were surrounded by enemies right now. In a closed facility. Escape seemed impossible. 

Sam led them to see his supervisor, a guy named Michael. But when they entered, Michael was busy arguing with a second person in the room. His eyes lit up, however, when they saw Castiel. Dean didn’t like the way he was looking at the Ankh-El and he subtly moved into his line of sight to obscure Castiel.

“Sam.” Michael greeted. “I hope this means you found the third fledgling.”

Sam nodded. “This is Castiel. And… my brother, Dean.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Oh, I see. Your brother is the servant?” After Sam confirmed, Michael seemed disappointed. “I thought so. Too bad.”

“Why?” Dean spoke up, arms crossed in front of his chest.

Michael paused. “How much have you told them, Sam?”

“I told them what the resistance is doing and why,” Sam replied. “We had time.” After a frown from Michael, Sam hastened to add, “But no specifics.”

Nodding, Michael pointed them towards the chairs in his office. Like before, Castiel remained standing. As did the person Michael had been in the argument with when they entered.

“We’ve tried to find a way to communicate with the original vessel, but it failed. The test subjects were shut out immediately. Kevin’s theory was that it might work if we find a person they had known before.” Michael explained and Dean only understood half of it. And by half of it, he meant nothing. He helplessly looked over at Castiel, who was scowling.

“Original vessel?” Castiel asked.

Michael smiled at him. It wasn’t a kind smile. “You know what I’m talking about, Ankh-El. The guy whose body you inhabit.”

Castiel growled and Dean had to physically hold him back. “Wait. You think Cas is still in there?” He asked.

The guy next to Michael perked up. Dean assumed it was Kevin. “Oh my god, you’re Sam’s brother. The one who joined servitude just after his friend was chosen. That’s how it went, right?”

Dean glanced at Sam, who answered for him. “Yes.” His voice sounded icy. Dean hadn’t expected his brother to be so resentful over this. He hoped they’d get a quiet moment to talk about it. But he didn’t expect that day to come anytime soon.

Kevin and Michael looked at each other. Dean didn’t like the smile they both wore. “Looks like we found our perfect test subjects.”

In the end, Dean didn’t have a choice. They were on enemy turf and it was just him and Castiel. He couldn’t trust Sam enough to have his back. But he had to admit, the prospect of it all working already made it hard for him to say no.

They would submerge Dean and Castiel in a tank full of raw Spice. In theory, it would open up a connection between them and Dean could experience what it was the Ankh-El experienced - before their alleged brainwashing at the facility cut off their connection to the Spice.

Kevin’s theory was that the original host wasn’t dead but still present in the Ankh-El’s subconscious. They were hoping that opening that connection would ultimately give the Ankh-El their free will back. Though Castiel seemed pretty independent to Dean already.

Their trials so far had all been unsuccessful because the Ankh-El had blocked off every attempt and their connection to Spice was much stronger to begin with, so the other person in the tank had little hope of forcing entry to their subconscious.

Kevin hoped it would be easier for Dean because as Shangree-Lua he already was connected to Spice, if only to a small degree and hopefully Castiel would not see him as a threat. Dean was sceptical about all of it, but he’d seen Cas communicate with the worm and with the moth, so why not with him? And they did have a connection when he’d healed him. If they could recreate that and Cas would get more memories back, that was all Dean wanted.

It had to be the other way around this time though. Dean had to go poke around in Castiel’s head and instigate the connection. That was the part he was wary about. He’d reluctantly taken off his silks and was only wearing a pair of briefs. When he entered the room with the tank, Castiel was already submerged in it. He looked majestic and otherworldly, floating in the green goo, his wings spread out and body loose.

Dean didn’t have long to admire him. He could see Michael and his brother watching through a two-way mirror while Kevin was in the room with him, directing him to get in the tank as well.

“What exactly is it I’m supposed to do?” Dean asked on his way up the ladder.

“Make a connection. Try and find your old friend.” Kevin replied.

“Yeah, no. I mean _how_ do I do that?” Dean clarified.

Kevin shrugged. “Just follow your instincts. Trust that the Spice will guide you.”

Dean snorted. That sounded like a line from one of his superiors. But if he was honest with himself, deep down he did believe. He’d always trusted in Spice, even if he started to doubt the system. The Spice would guide him. It would bring him back to Cas.

Closing his eyes and just thinking of that, Dean jumped down into the tank. Too late did he realize that he had no way to breathe. Trying to swim back up, he found that it was impossible. The goo weighed him down and pulled him under. All he could see was murky green. He flailed. Surely they would get him back out? They’d see he was dying and get him back out?

He blindly reached out, hoping to at least touch Cas one last time and say his goodbyes, now convinced that this was how he’d die. Just as he finally connected to Castiel’s form, he had to open his lips, letting the last of his oxygen escape. Instead, Spice filled his lungs and he closed his eyes, waiting to die.

The next thing he knew, he was watching Castiel and Kevin talk in the tank room.

_“What happened to the last test subject?” Castiel asked. He was as undressed as Dean, yet he still managed to be menacing._

_“He’s fine. You can feel him on this base, can’t you?” Kevin replied._

_Castiel just grunted. “No. The other one. Yours.”_

_“Oh.” There was a pause. “He’s also fine.”_

_Castiel stepped closer to Kevin. “Is he? Let me make sure that’s true.” He reached out two fingers to touch Kevin’s forehead._

_Kevin flinched back before Castiel could touch him. Dean didn’t know Ankh-El could read minds. Or was Castiel faking it? Either way, Kevin confessed. “He’s in a coma, ok. He never came back. I’m sorry.”_

_Castiel grabbed the other man by his lab coat, his wings flaring up high behind him. “If I come back out there and Dean does not, I am going to murder you. Slowly. I just want you to know that.” He let go again and calmly stepped back. Dean was surprised Castiel seemed to actually care about him._

_Kevin apparently had a death wish, because he leaned into Castiel’s space. “That will depend on you. If you let him in and not destroy his mind while keeping him out, nothing should happen.”_

_“Should?” Castiel questioned, voice still menacing._

_“Will. Nothing will happen. I promise.” Kevin picked up a clipboard and motioned towards the tank._

The scene vanished in a green mist and instead Dean was now in a green room. The floors were green, the walls were green, the ceiling was green. It was all the same shade. He turned around on himself and suddenly lost grip about what was up and what was down. Before he could really panic, a warm hand gripped his arm and grounded him.

Dean turned and realized Castiel was standing right next to him. The Ankh-El gave him a tentative smile. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “Uhm, hi.” He took in his surroundings again, noticing that Castiel was wearing Ankh-El uniform and he was in his Shangree-Lua silks. He reached for the veil, strangely comforted to find it intact.

“I am unsure what this is supposed to accomplish.” The Ankh-El muttered.

Just as Dean was about to reply, a bright white door appeared and Cas stepped out. His Cas from all those years ago, body lithe, younger and sprouting no wings. Cas looked confused, but when he saw Dean, he ran at the same time as Dean started running towards him. They met in the middle and hugged each other fiercely.

“Cas,” Dean mumbled, eyes closed. He held on tight for a long time, before he eventually pulled back and opened his eyes again. He cupped Cas’s cheeks and opened his veil to be able to lean in and give him a soft kiss. “I have missed you so much.”

The kiss tasted salty and Dean realized that tears were streaming down his face. Cas looked at him softly and cupped the back of his neck. “Dean.” They kissed again, only breaking apart when the other Castiel in the room made a noise.

Dean and Cas both turned, Cas disentangling himself from Dean and going over to shake the Ankh-Els hand. As soon as they touched, the Cas Dean remembered grew and morphed into the Ankh-El’s body shape. He didn’t grow wings and he continued to wear the clothes Dean last saw him in, but it was still mildly disconcerting.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Cas greeted the Ankh-El.

The Ankh-El frowned. “We’ve met.”

“Of course.” Castiel smiled. “I’m you. You’re me. You’re still confused because you only just emerged, but the Spice will help us reconnect.”

“I don’t remember you.” The Ankh-El took a step back and threw Dean a suspicious glance. Dean suddenly felt a stab in his brain and he collapsed to his knees in pain.

“Stop it!” Cas ordered. “Pushing Dean out will accomplish nothing. I am in _your_ head, not Dean’s.”

The pain Dean felt lessened and he looked over at the both of them in confusion. “I don’t understand. Cas, are you still in there? Can you… come back to me?”

Cas sighed. “A fledgling is still vulnerable. Right now, he needs all his training and all his instincts as Ankh-El to protect himself. As we grow, our memories return.” Cas had come back to Dean and knelt down next to him, touching his cheek. “But Dean. I will always be different. I am Ankh-El now. Your Cas… me… I’m gone.”

“But you’re right here.” Dean protested, grabbing him by his shirt.

“So is he.” Cas replied, nodding over towards the Ankh-El. “We’re separate now, because it makes it easier to talk. But we will become one.”

Dean could feel his tears fall again. He tried to wrap his mind around it, but it didn’t make sense. Suddenly the pain was back, different than before. His vision swam green and he only snapped out of it, when Cas shook him.

“We don’t have time,” Cas announced. “Spice is dangerous for him. His body can’t handle it for long.” Dean realized he was talking to the Ankh-El. “Listen closely. Everything Sam told you, it’s true. The Spice knows. But it hasn’t found a way to weave it into our DNA yet. They snatch us too fast, our minds are still too fragile, too undeveloped. You fear Shangree-Lua, but it’s Ankh-El you need to worry about more. It’s easy for them to get their hooks in us and cut us off, limiting us to a lesser state of Ankh-El.”

Dean felt blurry again, but Cas wrapped him up in his strong arms. He suddenly felt the Ankh-El join him from the other side so he was cocooned between the both of them. It was safe. He closed his eyes.

“We need him as a conduit for now,” Cas was saying. “But soon we will be able to talk again. Listen to your gut, Castiel. It told you to trust him, didn’t it? I will guide you, as will the Spice. Follow its path and free your brethren.” Cas’s lips were close to Dean’s ear suddenly. “I love you, Dean. Wake up!”

Dean’s eyes flew open and he realized he was on the surface of the green goo, able to breathe normal air. He took a deep breath and Castiel emerged right next to him, reaching out to him with a panicked look on his face. When he saw Dean was ok, he bit his lip and let go, waiting until Dean swam to the edge of the tank to follow him out.

_Four months later_

Dean lovingly caressed his silks, which were waiting for him when he was done shaving. Over the past few months he’d started wearing civilian clothing again, because some missions required it and he found it just generally eased the tension on the base. But they were scratchy and constrictive. He looked forward to sneaking onto a Shangree-Lua operated facility to rescue more Ankh-El today.

Dean and Castiel had found a way to break through to the others, working together in the tank, relying heavily on the Spice to protect them. In the first three weeks it had just been the two of them, trying to find a better way to connect. The breaks Dean had to take in between had decreased just as the time he was able to stay under had increased. Cas had explained that he was slowly building up a tolerance for Spice. But it wasn’t recommended that others do the same. Dean needed Castiel to guide him. Another Ankh-El would not be so kind to a random other person.

And Castiel had refused to go in with anyone other than Dean. Dean smiled at the mirror. He cherished his time with his old Cas in Castiel’s mind, but he had come to like being around the Ankh-El just the same. He was always hovering and in Dean’s space, but after a while, Dean had realized that Castiel was just very protective of him. And maybe he also felt a little lost without Dean. He wasn’t like the other Ankh-El anymore. And while he could connect to the other fledglings on base and the few Ankh-El they’d freed since, it didn’t seem to be the connection he was looking for.

Dean knew he should feel sad for him, but it made him too happy to have Castiel back. And yes, he’d changed. Of course he had. But so had Dean. Memories or not, they both were different people from when they were dumb kids. 

Looking into the mirror, Dean realized his eyes were glowing in a bright green. It startled him and he nicked himself with the razor. “Dammit,” he muttered, closing his eyes and concentrating. It was always just for a few seconds, but it increased in frequency these days. Side effect from the Spice. He wondered if soon his undercover days were over. But maybe if he was a freak to stand out anyway, he could wear his silk on the regular again. People wouldn’t be looking at his clothes.

He splashed cold water in his face and dried off, pulling on his robe. He attached the veil but left it open for now. When he emerged from the bathroom, he was not surprised to find Castiel already waiting for him. He gave him a shy smile, which the Ankh-El returned until his eyes zeroed in on his face.

“Dean,” he exclaimed. “You’re hurt!” Before Dean could protest, Castiel cupped his chin and healed his little cut, the memory of Dean and Cas kissing under the stars fleeting to the surface.

Dean raised his eyebrow. “You just wanted another memory, didn’t you?” He accused. Dean wasn’t mad, but this was another thing that had increased, Castiel touching him, trying to connect even when they were not in the tank.

“You were hurt,” Castiel replied in a gruff voice, pulling his hand back and looking down.

“Hey.” Dean reached out, his turn to caress Castiel’s cheek. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” It didn’t sting anymore. It was just memories now, not painful reminders of what he’d lost. After all, he’d gotten Castiel back.

Castiel looked back up, his gaze quickly moving from Dean’s eyes to focus on his lips. Dean’s heart started racing and he became acutely aware of the last time they were in the tank together, just the two of them, after the Ankh-El they’d been working with had broken the connection and left.

By the two of them, Dean meant himself, Castiel and Cas.

_”I think that went well,” Cas said, looking from Dean to Castiel._

_“Yes,” Dean agreed. “We’re getting better at this.” He smiled, walking closer to Cas until they could touch._

_Cas interlaced their fingers and pulled Dean in. “We should break the connection. Not risk it.”_

_Dean nodded, burying his head in Cas’s neck and breathing in deep. He smelled of nothing but Spice and it made Dean feel heady. “In a minute,” he announced, burying his hand in Cas’s hair and kissing him hungrily. Cas groaned, kissing him back, hands roaming Dean’s back and hooking a leg around one of Dean’s to try and press even closer._

_They didn’t need air in here, since this wasn’t real and Dean took full advantage, not breaking the kiss. He could feel their clothes melting away and he rutted against Cas until suddenly he was pulled away roughly by a hand in his hair._

_He blinked, looking back to find the Ankh-El staring at him, nostrils flaring. Dean could feel Cas give a tiny nod and suddenly the Ankh-El was kissing him. Dean turned, wrapping his arms around the Ankh-El instead. He was more aggressive than Cas, more demanding. Yet a little less skilled. Dean tried to slow him down and guide him when he felt Cas move up against his back, kissing his neck._

_Dean moaned and pulled away from Castiel to turn and claim Cas’s lips instead, his fingers buried in Castiel’s hair though, keeping the Ankh-El close so he could break the kiss with Cas and turn to kiss the Ankh-El again. It all just felt so incredibly good, to be surrounded by the men… the man he loved, that Dean’s whole skin was on fire and he felt like he could just burn into a supernova of pleasure._

_But just before he could burst, he felt himself suddenly pulled out again, world going dark and cold until he opened his eyes and was on the surface of the tank once more, Castiel staring at him wild eyes from the other side of the tank, for once keeping his distance._

They hadn’t mentioned it and Castiel had made no move in the real world. Until it led to this moment right now.

With a smile on his lips, Dean decided to put Castiel out of his misery. He closed the distance between them and gave him a soft kiss. Castiel pulled away, startled, but after a few seconds, he leaned back down, kissing Dean again. Dean carefully tapped his tongue against Castiel’s lips until the Ankh-El opened and let him in, Dean guiding him in a languid, mostly chaste kiss. It was so different from the one in the tank and Dean was pleased that no connection opened up and no old memories resurfaced.

This was a new memory. It should just be him and Castiel. He tried to reassure the Ankh-El when they broke apart, and Dean whispered, “Thank you, Castiel.” He briefly nuzzled his cheek and then pulled back. “For healing me.” He winked and closed his veil.

Castiel was just staring at him, for once looking a little scared, and Dean caressed his cheek again, letting his fingers trail down in a featherlight touch until he’d reached Castiel’s hand. He interlaced their fingers and tugged him into movement. They had a mission to go to. But he couldn’t wait to get back and explore this new phase in their relationship further, just him and the Ankh-El.

Dean couldn’t wait to be allowed to touch his wings. He grinned, imagining the things he could do with them, or the way Castiel would look with them spread out over him. Or laid out under him. He shuddered. Damn. He finally understood Cas’s early obsession with the Ankh-El a little better - even if Castiel had probably dreamed of flying more than anything.

And in a few more weeks he’d surely be able to. Dean stopped and looked at the Ankh-El next to him. They were still holding hands, in a mostly deserted corridor. Not thinking too much about it, Dean quickly pulled his veil back and gave Castiel another small kiss.

“What was that one for?” Castiel asked when they were moving again.

“Just because.” Dean smirked. “I’m happy.”

Castiel gave him a shy smile in return. “I’m… glad.”

Dean squeezed his hand. They would work up to making Castiel happy as well. He sent a quick prayer up to the Spice to keep them both safe on this next mission and then joined Sam and the rest of their team in the hangar bay.


End file.
